Second Chance
Not everyone deserves a second chance. Yan ang paniniwala ako. At higit pa, hindi porke't you were offered a "second chance" you will grab it like an small child being offered a candy bar.
I do sound bitter I know. Pero sa buhay na ginagalawan ko, I really don't think that everyone should get a second chance. I have, trust me, tried given someone not only second but all the chances in the world, pero "anyare?" bigo. I wish I was strong enough to just end it and walk away when I had the chance. Pero hindi. I chose to give him a second chance, then third, fourth, and now hindi ko na mabilang kung gaano karaming chances ang binigay ko, Each time, I end up worse than the previous kasi little by little I lose my sense of dignity. Para akong tanga na habol ng habol. Para akong tanga na nanunuyo, nag sosorry kahit hindi ako ang may kasalanan just so matapos na ang away at maging "okay" na kami. Akala ko noon, that is what you do when you love someone. YOU NEVER GIVE UP. Pero mali. You only never give up on someone you doesn't give up on you. Kasi kung one-sided ang love story ang ending laging sawi.
How to Really Love Someone
Paano nga ba? Ang dami ko ng nabasa na mga "How To" pero sa totoo hindi mo naman talaga ma-apply ang iba.
Ang sabi - you must love like you will never love again.
Ang sabi - know the person fully and accept all the flaws
Ang sabi - choose to love that person
Ang sabi - tell you love him/her every chance you get
Ang sabi - ang daming sinasabi.
Hindi nila sinabi na dapat kapag nagmamahal ka, mahalin mo rin ang sarili mo. Madalas nakakalimutan natin yun. Madalas nakakalimutan ko yun. I am so into him and I forget myself.
I cannot really remember anymore who I was. I tried to change to please him not realizing I will never be enough. That I will never the be his "dream girl." So yes bitter talaga ako. Kasi all I ever wanted is to be good enough for him, but it will never happen, no matter what I do.
One-Sided Relationship
Minsan inisip ko masyado lang ba akong mapaghanap o talaga kulang lang. Halimbawa, he would give me flowers on Valentines Day, on our anniversary and on my birthday. Yes, thrice a year. That is if the occasion falls on days that we have work kasi may flower shop dun sa workplace, otherwise, he would just greet me. He would not make effort to make it special. Often he makes me feel that I do not deserve anything. This year he did not give me flowers on our anniversary, when I asked him, he told me basta ayaw lang daw niya. Inisip ko di naman talaga big deal di ba, yeah!! I tried to convince myself its not a big deal, pero aminin nyo girls...BIG DEAL di ba. but I learned to let it go though I told myself that before I die I will tell him to not give me flowers on my wake and on my grave. BITTER. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ako, I always make it special for him. Kapag birthday ko, take note MY BIRTHDAY, ako pa nagreregalo sa kanya, kapag anniv namin ganun din. Ako nagpaplano ng date namin. Ako lang ang super excited. Siya naman "keri" lang.
Nasanay na ako. I never felt wanted. Never felt needed. Never felt loved.
Siguro may mali sa akin. Siguro masyado akong demanding. Siguro I really don't deserve his love. Siguro....siguro...siguro hindi siya tama para sa akin.
When Is It Time To Let Go
- When you have exhausted all the means to make your relationship work.
- When you have tried your level best to be that person who you think he would love.
- When you start feel tired trying.
No. Hindi yan ang basehan. You know its time to let go when you are starting to hate yourself trying to be someone you are not. You know its time to let go when finally you realize you have forgotten to love yourself in the process of loving someone else. You know its time to let go when just thinking about the person gives you that heavy feeling in the chest that you want to shout out loud F*CK!.
I think its time for me to let go. I don't know how but I know it's time. It won't be easy. Mending a broken heart is never easy, but mending a broken soul is far more difficult. I am a broken soul. It would take time to to pick up all the pieces again, but if I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it anymore.
Not everyone deserves a second chance. Yan ang paniniwala ako. At higit pa, hindi porke't you were offered a "second chance" you will grab it like an small child being offered a candy bar.
I do sound bitter I know. Pero sa buhay na ginagalawan ko, I really don't think that everyone should get a second chance. I have, trust me, tried given someone not only second but all the chances in the world, pero "anyare?" bigo. I wish I was strong enough to just end it and walk away when I had the chance. Pero hindi. I chose to give him a second chance, then third, fourth, and now hindi ko na mabilang kung gaano karaming chances ang binigay ko, Each time, I end up worse than the previous kasi little by little I lose my sense of dignity. Para akong tanga na habol ng habol. Para akong tanga na nanunuyo, nag sosorry kahit hindi ako ang may kasalanan just so matapos na ang away at maging "okay" na kami. Akala ko noon, that is what you do when you love someone. YOU NEVER GIVE UP. Pero mali. You only never give up on someone you doesn't give up on you. Kasi kung one-sided ang love story ang ending laging sawi.
How to Really Love Someone
Paano nga ba? Ang dami ko ng nabasa na mga "How To" pero sa totoo hindi mo naman talaga ma-apply ang iba.
Ang sabi - you must love like you will never love again.
Ang sabi - know the person fully and accept all the flaws
Ang sabi - choose to love that person
Ang sabi - tell you love him/her every chance you get
Ang sabi - ang daming sinasabi.
Hindi nila sinabi na dapat kapag nagmamahal ka, mahalin mo rin ang sarili mo. Madalas nakakalimutan natin yun. Madalas nakakalimutan ko yun. I am so into him and I forget myself.
I cannot really remember anymore who I was. I tried to change to please him not realizing I will never be enough. That I will never the be his "dream girl." So yes bitter talaga ako. Kasi all I ever wanted is to be good enough for him, but it will never happen, no matter what I do.
One-Sided Relationship
Minsan inisip ko masyado lang ba akong mapaghanap o talaga kulang lang. Halimbawa, he would give me flowers on Valentines Day, on our anniversary and on my birthday. Yes, thrice a year. That is if the occasion falls on days that we have work kasi may flower shop dun sa workplace, otherwise, he would just greet me. He would not make effort to make it special. Often he makes me feel that I do not deserve anything. This year he did not give me flowers on our anniversary, when I asked him, he told me basta ayaw lang daw niya. Inisip ko di naman talaga big deal di ba, yeah!! I tried to convince myself its not a big deal, pero aminin nyo girls...BIG DEAL di ba. but I learned to let it go though I told myself that before I die I will tell him to not give me flowers on my wake and on my grave. BITTER. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ako, I always make it special for him. Kapag birthday ko, take note MY BIRTHDAY, ako pa nagreregalo sa kanya, kapag anniv namin ganun din. Ako nagpaplano ng date namin. Ako lang ang super excited. Siya naman "keri" lang.
Nasanay na ako. I never felt wanted. Never felt needed. Never felt loved.
Siguro may mali sa akin. Siguro masyado akong demanding. Siguro I really don't deserve his love. Siguro....siguro...siguro hindi siya tama para sa akin.
When Is It Time To Let Go
- When you have exhausted all the means to make your relationship work.
- When you have tried your level best to be that person who you think he would love.
- When you start feel tired trying.
No. Hindi yan ang basehan. You know its time to let go when you are starting to hate yourself trying to be someone you are not. You know its time to let go when finally you realize you have forgotten to love yourself in the process of loving someone else. You know its time to let go when just thinking about the person gives you that heavy feeling in the chest that you want to shout out loud F*CK!.
I think its time for me to let go. I don't know how but I know it's time. It won't be easy. Mending a broken heart is never easy, but mending a broken soul is far more difficult. I am a broken soul. It would take time to to pick up all the pieces again, but if I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it anymore.